The Partnership (Callaghan Green Series Book 10) Page 18

  “Thanks for that endorsement.”

  She gave me a toothy grin that looked more like she was baring her teeth at me. “So I take it you like her because you haven’t denied it yet?”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Ava, why are you digging at this? What’s made you think something’s going on?”

  Suspicion was never unwasted with her.

  “It was the way you said that Georgia saved you. You got a moony look on your face.”

  “Seriously?” I needed to cure myself of that. Preferably before Max or Jackson noticed.

  “Yep. Ask her out.” She looked genuinely delighted.

  “I’m not wanting to date right now. And not someone I work with.” My stomach twisted as I said the words.

  “I get that. The working with thing. The dating bit, no, I don’t get it. Dating’s different from sleeping around, Seph, if you’re seeing the same woman.”

  “I don’t have time for it.”

  “When will you have time for it?” She looked at me through narrowed eyes.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Because if you don’t have time now, how will you have time later?”

  “Still not getting you.”

  She shook her head. “If you become some sort of workaholic now, you won’t stop, so you’ll just end up going back to one-night stands, because you’ll never find time.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say.

  I’d never been very good at balance. Submerging myself in a work project or a fitness goal or achieving some target I’d set for myself was my norm; and I’d focus on that and nothing else until I’d gotten there. After which I’d felt a hollowness, as if something was missing. But when I was focused on something, it was all I was focused on. Yet another reason why Georgia and Rose were a bad idea.

  “I think I’m better off being single.”

  Her look was one of disbelief. “There’s no way you’re going to stay celibate for any length of time. No way.”

  I shrugged. Couldn’t say it wasn’t something I was missing. I liked sex, what man didn’t, and this was the longest I’d ever gone without it, by a long way. Well, up until the age of fifteen when I’d lost my virginity anyway.

  “I’m not saying I’m deliberately abstaining, I’m just trying to stay focused and change what people think of me.”

  “And what do you think people think of you?” She tapped her nails against the table.

  “That I can’t be on my own. That I sleep around.”

  I saw a small smile creep up her face. “You hate being on your own, Seph, because you’re so used to living with a huge family, and then you stuck with Cassie because it was easier than being by yourself, even though she was a total arse-wipe.”

  “Why did no one tell me she was so bad?” It had taken me this long since splitting up to ask the question because I’d been too afraid to know the answer. “Bad for me, anyway.” I didn’t think Cassie was a bad person, no matter what my family reckoned. She’d been fun and caring, most of the time. She’d made me laugh and we’d had the same interests. It was the other side to her that had been destructive, and she’d nearly destroyed me in the end, only I hadn’t realised that until things had soured to the point of being rotten.

  “We kind of did. But even Claire didn’t want to tell you that she was sleeping around behind your back. We weren’t sure how you’d react.” She played with a lock of hair that’d dropped over the side of her face. “Mum worried that if we told you what we thought you should do, you’d do the opposite. Cassie had a weird hold on you.”

  I didn’t say anything back because there was nothing to say. She had controlled me to an extent, and I saw now that what we’d had became toxic.

  “I’ll bet you that you don’t stay single for another six weeks though.” Her grin was far too knowing for my liking. “You’ll end up seeing someone, I can tell.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  “So what’s the wager?” She tapped a rhythm on the table with her nails.

  “Bragging rights.”

  Ava shook her head. “Nope. Loser pays for the winner to have a night in a five-star hotel, dinner and drinks included.”

  “Fine. You’re on. Only you get the cheaper deal as you’ll be paying just for me.”

  She leaned over the table and tapped my cheek as if I was a child. “You think that, Joseph, you think that.”

  What struck me as I walked in Blue, the bar of choice to celebrate Eli’s victory, was how my sister was looking up at Eli as he talked about something to the people surrounding them. He was a quiet guy, said his piece and no more, a brilliant rugby player and would carry anyone’s worries without ever looking like he was bearing a load. But the way Ava was gazing at him was like he was a god.

  They were finally getting married at some point this year, which was involving a big family holiday to the South of France, and I knew that Ava was enjoying the planning without freaking out.

  Seeing how she looked at him, and how his arm tightened around her waist, made me smile, but something in me sunk at the same time. I’d turned up at functions or drinks with a date or more often than not, I’d left with one, but it wasn’t the same as having someone look at you like Ava looked at Eli.

  “You look like you need a drink.”

  I jumped as the words were said from behind me and I hadn’t realised anyone was there.

  Georgia had gotten changed, I assumed, since we’d finished work. Either that, or she’d spent the day in tight black trousers with a top that dipped low enough to impale my eyeballs to it.

  “Yeah.” And I’d turned into a one syllabled idiot. “Sorry.” I pulled my eyes up. “I’ll get these.” Two days of avoiding her hadn’t been enough to build up any resistance.

  A big burly dickhead appeared like a goon next to me. “I’ll get them. Same again, Georgia?”

  I looked at her to apologise in advance for whatever Shay was about to do or say, but she was looking at him and smiling.

  “That’d be great, Shay, but the next drink’s on me.”

  I didn’t like how friendly she sounded.

  “Pretty ladies don’t buy drinks. Ugly men, though.” He slapped my back. “They definitely do.”

  “Fuck you.” I would murder him later. I looked back at Georgia, but she’d turned around to talk to someone else, one of the associates and she didn’t even seem to be aware of me.

  Should I be surprised though? Since I’d kissed her, and she’d told me about her ex, I’d pretty much ghosted her. If I were her, I’d be ignoring me right now.

  I groaned, watching Shay head over to her, his hand pressing between her shoulder blades as he stole her attention. I’d cocked up. Wasn’t the first time, definitely wouldn’t be the last.

  I thought about what Ava had said, about balance. It didn’t matter; what I did was making Georgia believe I was a complete tool. Being a complete tool.

  She was talking to Shay and he was in total flirt mode with the heavy eye contact, the slight touches and the wide smile I wanted to punch off his face. I’d seen him like this many times before as he built up to taking some poor unsuspecting girl home.

  Listening to him with Georgia, hearing the door close in the morning as she left or seeing her over breakfast after she’d spent the night with him, was not on my list of things to experience this millennium, or the next.

  Shay squeezed her arm and headed to the bar. A few fast strides later and I was standing next to him, listening to him put in his order and Georgia’s.

  “I’ll get this.”

  His smirk was one I’d think of next time I was training on the punching bag.

  “Any reason?”

  Ignoring him was easy. “I’m taking her drink over. If you want to earn yourself that bottle of port in the cupboard at home, you can by staying away.”

  His laugh wasn’t subtle. “Fuck. You’re so transparent.”

  “What do you mean?” In my head I was as stealthy and as secretive as James B
ond.

  He laughed again. “You can take her drink over. But if you don’t get your head out of your arse, I will ask her out.”

  “What?”

  “Ava phoned me before.”

  “Fuckers.” I legitimately hated my family my right now.

  “Here.” He passed me her drink and pushed a pint of beer to me. “And if you need me to explain how tab A goes into slot B…” Shay gave me a wink and then fucked off, which was useful as if he hadn’t, I’d have politely told him where to go. Or maybe not so politely.

  I picked up Georgia’s drink and my own, then headed to where she was standing with some of the commercial lit team. Not staring was difficult and I was pretty sure the elevated tapping of my pulse could be heard by everyone in the bar.

  “Here.” I passed her the drink. “Complements of my cousin.”

  She smiled and accepted it. “He’s a character.”

  I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

  “He’s a lot of things.” Playboy, flirt, womaniser – there was a long list. “How’ve the last couple of days been?”

  She turned around to face me head on and gave me a look that told me she had me sussed. I’d have been lying if I said it didn’t scare me. I wanted to lie down on the floor on my back like some huge playful dog and show her my belly, hoping she’d maybe tickle it.

  Or a bit lower.

  “You’d have known how the last couple of days had been if you hadn’t hidden away like some scared fool.”

  My stomach tipped; my stare was that of someone who’d just been seriously called out.

  “I didn’t mean…”

  She interrupted with a laugh. “Seph, I’m a grown woman. I can handle a chat with a man that ends in a kiss. Just because we went there doesn’t mean anything has to come of it. We both know it won’t.”

  “What?”

  Her laugh was louder this time as she shrugged. “I’m a single mum, who got pregnant after a workplace fling. I’m not going to do casual with someone who can effectively fire me.”

  I searched around for words that would put things right, only they weren’t offering themselves up right now. Instead I groaned and rubbed my face. “I wouldn’t be doing casual. Not with you.”

  “Okay. That worries me and scares the shit out of me at the same time. Why’ve you hid from me for the last two days?”

  A roar of laughter echoed through the bar. I glanced over; Max had clearly said something that meant he was having the piss ripped out of him for. No one was watching me and Georgia, everyone’s attention was elsewhere.

  There was no point in lying and trying to defend myself. I had been avoiding her since Wednesday night, thinking it would make some sort of difference.

  It hadn’t; other than to make me look like a complete twat.

  “Because I promised myself that I’d focus on work and being taken seriously.” I waited for her to laugh again, but it didn’t happen. “Kissing the new partner in my department isn’t exactly going to make that happen.”

  She sipped her drink. “You know, maybe you’re right. It wouldn’t help you being taken seriously, but neither does avoiding someone for two days straight after people saw us leaving together on Wednesday. The rumour mill has been doing some serious grinding. Don’t get me wrong, we all want to be taken seriously, we all want to be known for being professional, but guess what, Seph, people meet people they want to get involved with at work. How it moves forward or ends depends on how mature those people are and maybe you’re just not there yet.”

  It was a punch to the stomach from a heavyweight in home truths.

  “And Rose.” Somehow I managed to find some words. “What about Rose?”

  She shook her head. “I’m not sure what my daughter has to do with any decision I make about dating someone. She knows you as someone I work with and she likes you, just as she does with other friends. However, I’d go about introducing someone who might be there in a different way would be my decision to make.” She gave me a smile. “But thank you, Seph. It was nice being kissed and it made me decide that I am ready for a relationship, so I think I’m going to go and mingle – because you never know who you’re going to meet.” She patted my shoulder and left me standing there, staring and wondering what the hell had just happened.

  I put my pint down on a nearby table and headed outside, needing the fresh air, wanting to kick the fuck out of myself. I felt like an arrogant bastard who yet again had made a stupid decision based on what other people thought.

  I yanked my glasses off my face and threw them down to the ground, standing on them so they crunched under my feet. I didn’t need them, never had. I only started wearing them because after a photoshoot for an interview the photographer had commented on how they made me look intelligent with a massive slice of sex appeal. I’d gone on to fuck the photographer, a blonde woman who’d laughed a lot and been so fucking talented. She’d left before I’d woken the next morning and ignored my calls, sending me one text, thanking me for the night but she never did repeats.

  I’d carried on wearing the glasses all because of what someone else had said.

  I’d not asked Georgia out because of what other people might say.

  My own fucking rules had tripped me right up.

  “You okay?” A more than familiar voice came from the darkness.

  I turned around. “Why are you outside? It’s not warm?”

  Payton shrugged. ‘I saw you rush out and I wanted to check you were alright.”

  “For fuck’s sake. I’m fed up of people thinking I’m not okay. I’m fine.”

  “You know it’s in the Guide to Women that when someone says ‘I’m fine’ they’re really not?” She moved to lean her back against the wall and stared at my glasses, the shards of broken glass glinting.

  “I’ve fucked up.”

  “You won’t be the first of us to fuck up. Why?”

  “Because I’ve made a stupid decision.”

  “Is this to do with Georgia?”

  I groaned. “Does everyone know?”

  “What’s there to know? I’m just going off that you were talking one minute then you looked like someone stole your puppy and you stropped off like a teenage girl who’d been told she couldn’t wear lipstick.”

  “That bad?”

  “Not really, but getting there. You like her. Do something about it.”

  Things were so simple in the world of Payton.

  “I’ve fucked it up.” I briefly ran through all the ways I’d been a cock.

  “You’ve not done yourself any favours, but my guess is that she likes you and she isn’t after Mr Perfect because she’s already learned he doesn’t exist. Be friends with her, or friends with a side of something steamy.”

  I stared at my sister. “Are you still reading those books?”

  “Of course.”

  She had a thing for romance novels.

  “But Seph, don’t pursue her if she’s just going to fill a need for you to be with someone. Only do it because of her.”

  I stilled and leaned my head against the wall. “I know. I know I hate being on my own; I like noise and family, but if I just wanted to be with someone, she wouldn’t be the easiest choice, you know.”

  “I know. And I trust you.”

  “To do what?”

  “To know what’s right for you.”

  “And her.”

  She shook her head. “Only Georgia can decide what’s right for her. Get back inside. Go congratulate Eli. He’s getting a round in.”

  Which was something that only happened once every blue moon. I wasn’t missing that.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Georgia

  “Mummy, Seph’s at the door.”

  I stared into the mirror, pausing my moment of wonderfuckery at what I’d drank the night before and moving onto what the hell is still on my face mixed with why in God’s name is Seph Callaghan here?

  Last night had been fun. We’d stayed at the ba
r until just before closing when the more adventurous, non-parents and non-pregnant among us had headed home, the rest moving onto some bar or whatever. I’d drank slowly, remembering that I had no tolerance for it, and I’d felt perfectly fine when I’d gotten into bed after staring at my beautiful little girl for a good ten minutes, looking so angelic. Sleep was so good at creating a disguise.

  Seph had come back into the bar all smiles and laughter and charisma, talking to everyone and charming anyone who spent more than a minute nearby.

  I caught him watching me at least a half dozen times, and never once did he move his eyes away when he saw I’d noticed. Something told me I was unfinished business.

  That business was now standing on my doorstep.

  And I looked like death with a side of Halloween.

  “Mummy, shall I let him in?”

  Why was Seph on my doorstep at nine o’clock on a Saturday morning?

  “Mummy, is it okay if I let him in?”

  Fuckety fuck. Where was my sister when I needed her? That’s right, sleeping in because she hadn’t been woken by a four-year-old who thought she was a trampoline.

  “Yes. Just this once because you know who he is. I’ll be down in a minute.”

  Or twenty. I needed to shower and wash my face. And find my concealer because those dark shadows looked the same colour as the blue in petrol.

  “Okay, Mummy!” My daughter sounded excitable, which meant Seph was about to be greeted by a small hurricane of little girl.

  I hoped he was man enough to handle her, even if he wasn’t man enough to handle me.

  There was noise downstairs and giggles. I locked the bathroom door and switched the shower on, hoping the noise woke Olivia, because I was bitter like that, even though Liv had babysat for me last night. Leaving my work colleague – because he’d made it clear that was what he was and when I was past the point of wanting to crawl back under my duvet and hibernate, I’d dissect my feelings some more, maybe dip them in bleach – with my daughter probably broke some motherhood rule, but I figured twenty minutes wouldn’t kill either of them.